All Good Things Must Come To An End

Yes, even therapy, I’m afraid. "But when will I know", you ask?

I’d always heard, and read, about how therapists should not talk about ending therapy as it might make the client think that the therapist no longer wants to continue with them and thus cause them to end therapy prematurely.

In my experience, though, I’ve learnt different. I start out by encouraging my clients to be clear about why they’ve approached me and what they hope to achieve from these sessions. Yep, in other words, we work towards identifying goals for therapy.

We continuously monitor how we’re doing on the goals, during our sessions. This is like a beacon, helping us stay on the path we agreed to, unless of course, we decide to add/modify the goals, along the way.

Once the goals are met, we either set new goals or end therapy. Therapy can also end if my client doesn’t think their needs are being met by me anymore. Yet another reason can be that the client feels comfortable with the techniques and tools to manage themself.

Either which way, I have realised, that it is healthier to let the clients know that ending therapy is nothing to be afraid or feel awkward about. It is a natural process that will eventually happen – the reason and the timing will be the client’s.

When a client asks me how many sessions the therapy will comprise of, or how many more sessions I think they need, I answer with: “As many as you feel.”

If the sessions are helping the clients, then we could continue. I have clients who’ve been with me for years. Therapy is not just about emerging from a difficult situation but to work on oneself to be handle situations in life – many of which we don’t even have any idea about. In this way, it is an ongoing journey where we look internally and keep finding ways to strengthen ourselves.

If the sessions equip the clients with enough confidence to be able to manage without therapy, then that’s great too! I have had clients who, after a dozen or so sessions, have shared that they feel they can manage without therapy and rather than feel dismissed, I feel validated!

Similarly, there was a client who needed hypnotic support which I didn’t have an expertise in, so I happily suggested a couple of hypnotherapists to them and they’re working with those therapists now.

I look at therapy like a journey. I can accompany you till only so long – after that, you may prefer going solo or require another guide – and that’s perfectly normal!

Long story short – therapy is very subjective. The client is in the driver’s seat and since therapy is about them, it’s only fair that they are made aware of the power they have about its duration. Our job, as a therapist, is always to focus on what works best for the client – the duration is not significant, the impact is.